Update

June 30, 2006
‘Cuz dem ain’t our ca-redit cards!

June 3, 2006
CORDELIA, Calif. – The International Bird Rescue Research Center in Cordelia plans to raise funds with an unusual duck X-ray. The bird came in with a broken wing, but when Marie Travers, assistant manager of the center, radiographed the duck, she was stunned to see a very clear image of what appeared to be the face, or head, of an extraterrestrial alien in the bird’s stomach.

“Marie looked at it and all she could say was ‘unbelievable,'” said Karen Benzel, public affairs director for the rescue center, which has been rescuing sick and injured birds for more than three decades.

Unfortunately, the duck died quickly and quietly of its injuries.

Initial reports from the center claimed the cause of the alien face was never determined, but Benzel said she was still awaiting results of a necropsy.

Either way, the center has come up with a way to turn its alien encounter into a fundraiser for the center. It will auction off the X-ray on eBay.

The one-of-a-kind image, which measures 17-by-14 inches, will be sold along with a certificate of authenticity. All proceeds will go toward funding the center’s rehabilitation programs.

Go on Ebay! Buy it here.

June 1, 2006
TOKYO (Reuters) – A would-be Japanese bank robber asked staff how he should carry out the crime before meekly obeying a request to leave and then accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife he was carrying.

The 58-year-old unemployed man went into a branch of the Saitama Resona Bank in the town of Kumagaya, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, intending to rob it, a police spokesman said.

According to local media reports the man first asked a bank teller, “Any idea how you rob a bank?” The teller alerted another member of staff, who asked the man to leave.

“He left quietly when asked to,” the police spokesman said.

However, the staff member escorting the man out of the bank noticed the knife sticking out of his pocket and a bloodstain on his trousers.

Police arrested the man for illegal possession of a weapon.

“He didn’t brandish the knife at anyone … but he injured himself in the leg,” the police spokesman said.

-This man is a disgrace to humanity.

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